Sunday, November 22, 2009

10 years from now?

Dkzody’s Weblog post put an enormous amount of fear in me.

I have worked harder, cared more, done more, and it’s not enough to please everyone. After 18 years in the inner city school, working with kids from severe poverty, I am discouraged and feel beaten down. When will it get better?

I have occasional moments like this, and I really fear that ten more years down the road I’m going to feel like nothing has changed. Kids write to me after high school and the little e-mails or notes do wonders for my faith in the system, but societies pressure…….actually, I can deal with the pressure. Societies hypocrisy is what beats me down.

Maybe I should unplug. Maybe I should no longer listen to people, read blogs, and maybe I should start to maintain my classroom in the manner that I see fit for success, not to the standards of an ignorant populace that is more concerned about trips to Mexico, two week cruises, and drying good weed for sale to some idiot coming in from out of state.

I’m tired of lame excuses, technology not working, “professional learning communities”, and having to justify everything I do to a man or woman who is completely at the mercy of a 15 year old child. Do you know that on a progress report I almost wrote “Pain in the ass”? I caught myself, maybe unfortunately.

Do you know that I have to give every player a 5 day try-out for basketball? Junior Varsity boy’s basketball. That means that a kid can trip over the three point line every time down the floor and it must take me five days to figure out that he might be in the wrong place. Since when did our society become shy about saying, “Your kid is not good at this. Maybe he/she should try something else”? I didn’t make the J.V. Boy’s Baseball team at my high school. I was cut after 3 days and a cut list was posted of the guys that made the team. You know what I did? I played more basketball, got a girlfriend, got more involved with a church youth group, and got over it.

And while I’m ranting (and this post was not intended to be that), I’d like to thank those fellow colleagues that had “parties” on Friday. My Econ class got their previous test scores and worked on their Stock Market Portfolio. My AP U.S. History class took a huge test. My Government classes finished up Mock Congress Committee assignments, did a practice Bill-to-Law quiz, and finished “An Act of Congress: Following HR 6161”. I did not have a party. And nearly every one of my students reminded me of that fact. You did not make the Social Studies job any easier on Friday.

Yes, I love my job. But Jesus F-ing Christ, someone work with me here.

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