Friday, April 15, 2005

It's Amazing How Hopeless it Seems

This was one of those days that by the end, I was wondering if I truly do any good at all. No, that's not it. I guess today was one of sadness because most of these kids just have no idea what is coming. It was one of those days when all I seemed to hear about was the pot that was going to be smoked and boozed that was going to be consumed. By 4th period, I was so tired of hearing it that I forbade any comments regarding drinking or drugs for the weekend. You know what a students said?

"Then don't ask us what we are doing on the weekends."

For some reason that comment hit me really hard. I ask my students every Friday if they have something nice planned for the weekend. On occasion, I get a smart ass that yells out something about a party or getting hammered. But now it is everywhere. And I watch the problems of the town as they accept the fact that they are establishing a culture that fucks up kids. Seriously, how many of you can say that they have students that announce to the world that have a pot garden? And actually can do nothing about it? Most of these kids are going to go through very hard times, and there is nothing else I can do to prepare them for it. Hard to not feel like a failure, since I really shouldn't. As a teacher, you automatically have lots of variables against you. In this town, those variables are multiplied and engrossed. On occasion, it just feels awful to be a teacher.

But I'll snap back, as I always do. By now I realize that I can only control the classroom, which means I make it a positive environment for those that really want to do well, in class as well as life. This was just one of those weeks where I was very glad to leave the campus.
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